When Jan Hargrove first volunteered on a Dementia Adventure holiday in 2019, she already understood what families living with dementia experienced.
She had worked in a retirement village centred around person-led care and had spent years supporting people living with dementia through her role in marketing and events. She also knew Dementia Adventure well and admired its values.
“I always thought if my retirement village did holidays, it would look like Dementia Adventure,” she says. “The values and quality were very similar.”
Jan’s understanding of dementia not only came through her work and volunteering but also because it was something she was navigating in her own family too. First her mum, and then her dad, developed dementia. Gradually, Jan reduced her working hours to support them before eventually stepping away from work altogether.
Even while caring for her parents, Jan remained committed to supporting others affected by dementia. She became a Dementia Adventure volunteer.
“People can become really isolated,” she says. “It’s a genuine joy to give somebody a good week.”
Seeing Dementia Adventure Through Different Eyes
As a volunteer, Jan loved the outdoors and the spirit of the holidays.
She describes Dementia Adventure as one of the best organisations she has volunteered with.
“It feels like every scenario is planned for,” she explains. “You feel supported, listened to and part of something.”
As a volunteer, Jan felt prepared for anything.
“You’re not surprised by anything,” she says. “Whatever happens, happens. You deal with it.”
But everything changed when she returned on a supported holiday not as a volunteer — but as a daughter accompanying her dad.
That role reversal brought a completely different emotional experience.
“As volunteers, we expect the unexpected,” she says. “But as a guest, you don’t know what to expect because you’re living it personally.”
Experiencing the holiday as a family member helped Jan understand just how much reassurance and support Dementia Adventure provides.
“It was a revelation to feel it rather than just know about it,” she explains. “You see things differently when it’s your own family.”
For the first time, Jan was able to experience the holiday from the same position as the families she had supported as a volunteer — and it deepened her appreciation of the understanding, flexibility and care that make the holidays so valuable.
The Challenge of Asking for Help
One of the biggest differences for Jan was learning how hard it can be to ask for support.
As a volunteer, she had always been the person offering reassurance and practical help to others. As a guest, she found herself needing that support instead.
“It’s so much easier to help than ask for help,”
At times during the holiday, Jan became exhausted after disrupted nights and worried about how her dad was coping. But what stood out most was the quiet, thoughtful support around her.
Without needing to explain everything, the team and other guests noticed what she needed.
During one cycling activity, another guest accompanied her dad so Jan could enjoy some time cycling independently.
“It was exactly what I needed. Dad had a lovely experience and I could just breathe for a little while.”
A member of the Dementia Adventure team encouraged her to take time for herself, stepping in to look after her dad while she did.
“She said, ‘Don’t have a quick shower — have the shower you need.’ Those little things matter.”
The experience gave Jan a deeper understanding of what carers carry emotionally every day.
“You realise guests may already be anxious and exhausted before the holiday even starts,” she says. “Some have travelled the day before, stayed somewhere unfamiliar and worried whether everything will go well.”
It is a perspective she says will stay with her forever and enrich the way she volunteers in future.
Moments of Joy
Despite the challenges, the holiday was also filled with moments Jan treasures.
One evening, the group gathered by a lake where a swing hung from a tree.
“At first the women went on it,” Jan recalls. “Then suddenly all the men living with dementia were having a go too. It was a reminder that fun is infectious.”
Kayaking became another unforgettable experience for Jan and her dad.
Growing up in Cumbria, Jan spent much of her childhood outdoors with him, walking the fells together.
“To be back outdoors together again felt like completing the circle,” she says.
Her dad, now 84, still loves walking and being active.
“He deserves to keep doing the things he enjoys,” Jan says.
“That’s what I love about Dementia Adventure. Dementia doesn’t mean life stops.”
‘Try It’
When asked what she would say to someone considering a Dementia Adventure holiday for the first time, Jan’s answer is simple.
“Try it.”
She understands why families hesitate. Many immediately think about what could go wrong.
But Jan now knows something important from both sides of the experience.
“The things people worry about have happened before,” she says. “There’s acceptance and understanding. Nobody is judged.”
For Jan, being both volunteer and guest has deepened her appreciation of what Dementia Adventure creates.
Not just holidays, but opportunities for connection, independence, understanding and joy.
And perhaps most importantly, reassurance that nobody has to navigate dementia alone.
